I Thought She Knew
by Lionna Mouri
Summary: My first complete Wufei fic! Meiran&Wufei, songfic, reflecting and some guilt...


Title:  
Author: Lionna (Shinigami Goddess)  
Date began and completed: August 8, 2000Typed up (finally) on: September 1, 2000  
Rating: G  
Type & warnings: Meiran and Wufei (the first of its kind by me!), songfic, mild angst.  
Disclaimer: Gundam Wing characters – however kawaii they are – do not belong in any way to me. The   
story line is mine. That's it. Not even the song is mine! ::wails:: That's N'SYNC's "I Thought She Knew".  
  
She was my once in a lifetime  
Happy-ending come true  
  
[Wufei powers up Shenlong gundam, preparing for a fight. His look is hard and carved. For a moment he   
considers how his life would have been different if his wife had lived.]  
  
[He hardens, knowing that all that is ended. His only path to a content life is closed by now.]  
  
I guess I should have told her  
I thought she knew  
  
[Shenlong lifts off. Close-up of Wufei's emotion-filled eyes. He shuts his eyes briefly. When they open   
again, his ebony eyes are void of feeling. It is too late, after all, to tell her how much he actually cared.]  
  
She said I took he for granted  
That's the last thing I would do  
  
[Meiran yelling at Wufei while he read a book. She's angry about him telling her that women are unfit for   
battles. As she storms off, Wufei frowns when he realizes that she is going to "prove" herself.]  
  
[As Wufei hurries to power-up Shenlong, he wonders why Meiran had to run off in Tallgeese to battle.   
He's never meant to make her feel useless. It was just that he couldn't see her out on the battlefield –   
getting hurt.]  
  
I never understand it  
I thought she knew  
  
[Back in the present, Wufei angrily attacks the LEO units coming at him. He grits his teeth, thinking of   
Meiran and how she had rammed into him to protect him.]  
  
[He just couldn't see why she'd done it.]  
  
I thought she knew  
My world revolved around her  
My love light burned for her alone  
  
[Wufei finishes his battle and moves his gundam into hiding. He looks at the evening sky and wonders   
what Meiran would think of the Earth.]  
  
[His eyes fall but his face remains chiseled. It wasn't until after she was gone that he realized how very   
much he needed her. All the arguments, few times they agreed, all the practices… Meiran was the first and   
last he loved.]  
  
But she couldn't see the flame  
Only myself to blame  
I should have known  
I should have known  
  
[As Wufei holds the dying Meiran, she apologizes for being a pain and him not liking her. She admits to   
thinking he could be a good husband. This whole time, Wufei's astonished by what she's saying – and that   
she doesn't believe him to care for her in any way. As she closes her eyes and her head falls forward, Wufei   
calls her name. There's no response.]  
  
[He begins to cure himself repeatedly. He believes he should have been able to keep Meiran from the   
dangers of the battle. He should have known what to do. He should have told her sooner what he felt.]  
  
A heart full of words left unspoken  
Now that we're through  
  
[Wufei pilots Altron with determination to his old home colony of L5. Memories build painfully on him   
and he's reminded of the despair on that fateful day. All the pent-up feelings and confessions had gone   
unsaid from his lips. Now there was no chance. He sighs.]  
  
I tell my soul to have this silence broken  
I thought she knew  
  
[Wufei screams in absolute loss as L5 blows apart piece by piece. He's shouting questions to the void of   
space and begins to cry. Everything now is lost to him. His love, his clan, his home…]  
  
[Altron finishes the Taurus suits in record-breaking time and Wufei is left alone; in the void of his soul, in   
the void of his heart.]  
  
I thought she knew  
My world revolved around her  
My love light burned for her alone  
  
[Wufei reads alone in his room on Peacemillion. The door slowly opens and Duo pops in with a smile.   
Wufei frowns at being interrupted but listens to some of the babble. Finally Duo is told to get to the point   
and he turns serious. He asks about the Altron and Shenlong gundam, wondering why Wufei calls it   
Nataku.]  
  
[Wufei cannot open his mouth for fear of breaking down. He swallows slowly and looks away. He still   
remembers the days when he and Meiran used to play and spar, giving one another nicknames. Softly   
Wufei murmurs "Nataku…" followed by "Meiran.". ]  
  
But she couldn't see the flame  
Only myself to blame  
I should have known  
I should have known  
  
[Very hesitantly Wufei requests Duo to sit down and listen seriously. Duo obeys solemnly. Wufei slowly   
manages to explain his past and who Meiran was. Duo's eyes shine with unshed tears as he listens. He does   
his best to assure Wufei that she does know that he cared and cares. Still, Wufei can't quite quit blaming   
himself for her death. Duo admits to him that hundreds of innocents' lives are on his own hands; telling   
him that he's not alone. Also that because of what Meiran did, it meant that she, too, cared about Wufei.]  
  
She was my once in a lifetime  
Happy-ending come true  
  
[Wufei smirked as the last of the battleship Libra was destroyed thanks to Wing Zero. He'd never doubted   
Heero's abilities, after all. Finally everything sunk in and Wufei's face changed. He looked out into space   
and wondered where he had to go. There was nothing to do. There was no one out there for him. This peace   
seemed more of a nightmare to him than the war. At least when he was fighting, he didn't have to think   
about his loneliness or what else was going on. He actually had meaning. Meiran's face appears before him   
and he can still see as her head lolls to the side – her breath gone. A single tear falls down his face; though   
if it's for her or him, he is unsure.]  
  
I guess I should have told her  
But I thought she knew  
  
[Wufei stops back on Earth. On an empty, grassy knoll in the middle of the country, he arranges a   
memorial stone along with flowers. One of Meiran's very feminine tastes was the love of flowers.]  
  
[Wufei lowers his head to honor her silently. Eventually he looks up and his eyes are shining from tears. He   
apologizes; then turns.]  
  
I thought she knew  
**Repeats until fade**  
  
[The scene becomes blocked by a swirling blizzard of red and white rose petals. Every so often, brief   
glimpses of the years Wufei and Meiran were together show through.]  
  
I thought  
That she…  
Knew…  
  
[Meiran smiles painfully as her eyes close. Her muscles relax and she goes into a non-expression while her   
head lolls to the side. Wufei cries in denial beside her body.]  
~~~ Owari ~~~  
Something interesting: I cannot STAND N'SYNC !! ;;^__^ But I finally complied to my friends'   
wishes and listened to their new CD. (of the two CDs I like a total of 3 songs with a few others I can   
deal with). The songs I like are: It Makes Me Ill, I Thought She Knew, and one of the other tracks on   
their first CD. ::shrugs:: Anyhow, I listened to "I Thought She Knew" over and over (I REALLY like   
it) again and suddenly realized the lyrics would work perfect for a Wufei ficcie! So here's my first fic   
to honor our lovely Chinese pilot! Hope you likes, even if it isn't that descriptive.   



End file.
